Swirling Leaves [semi-closed/solo]

She was tired of moping.

I'm pathetic.

Gold leaves fluttered around her like butterflies, rustling with every gust of wind. She hunched against the bracing cold, the brisk air biting at her cheeks. There was a sharp tinge of rain and damp leaves in the air from earlier that morning, with a deep-seated chill that permeated the forest air. Evelyn glanced up through the gaps in the trees, to the patches of gray sky above. Her summer with Jace already seemed like a whole lifetime ago, like her life had ended and shuddered to a halt as soon as he left her, like the whole world had died and stopped progressing with the change in seasons, like...

God, that was fucking stupid. If she hadn't been crying and sniffling for weeks, she probably would've then, but now there was nothing left. The autumn cold had left her numb. How couldn't someone be numb after all this time? She wished she could've said that she was over it now, but then she'd just be lying to herself. To be more honest, it's just that she'd gotten sick of being so weepy.

I'm fucking pathetic.

Her life didn't hinge on someone else, did it? Just one person?

Thinking that should've made her feel better, but it still felt like a vital piece of her had been ripped out and she'd been left behind like a living husk.

I'm just a fucking leech.

She kept walking, leaves crunching under her boots, eyes glued to the ground as the trail weaved through trails deeper and deeper into the forest and away from the main paths.

At least back then, what felt like a hundred years ago, she could glide through life, even if it was like a ghost. She did her schoolwork, she took care of herself, and even if she was here, at least she could manage to do the bare basics. Now it was like she'd broken down completely and it wasn't even worth scrabbling back up. Evelyn had thrown all her hopes, all her desires, all her everything at Jace, like he was some fairytale prince and he'd take care of her and everything would be happily ever after. Instead it was like she'd gotten her lifeline yanked out from under her and was left to drown. A cold hard punch to the gut.

Evelyn couldn't even blame him.

It was her fault she was so fucking stupid.

I'm just a waste of space.

And now he'd forget her, again. Just like everyone else would. It'd be like she was never there, every trace erased, and she would be gone. It didn't matter if she lived or died. Her one anchor had detached and now she was floating away.

I should just die.